Every blog deserves a "How did I get here" post. It makes it easy for new readers to figure out what the heck is going on! So here we go!! My name is G. I'm 27.5 years young. I have 3 amazing boys. B is almost 9, T is 7.5, and J is 4.5. As of the end of September of this year, I became a single mom. I was married for 8 amazing years. The last year was not so amazing. It was filled with a lot of pain and hurt cause by someone I thought would always be my rock. His name is C. We had 10 years together. We met at Boy Scout camp and a year later engaged, married, and had our first. Our second was born 18 months later. Another oops but also another miracle. When our oldest was born, I became a stay at home mom. Only having worked for 3 months. C worked at a cabinet shop and we had a nice little life. But we both wanted better for our boys and so he joined the army. I was so proud of him. He was showing our boys how to be men. We spent the next 6 years going through deployments and training. In 6 years he was home for a grand total of 9 months. He missed 5 birthdays for our oldest and 5 anniversaries. 2 Christmas' and countless other holidays. But we were happy. Or so I thought. In April of 2014, 11 days before he was to come home from a 9 month deployment, he told me he wanted a divorce. I was a mess. The man I loved with all my heart no longer loved me. He had just said "I love you and can't wait to have my arms wrapped around you" 5 minutes prior. But now he didn't love me and wanted a divorce. He said their wasn't anyone else and so I said marriage counseling. He came home with strict rules. I wasn't allowed to touch him or kiss him or hold his hand. The things I'd been craving since he left. We went through 6 months of marriage counseling. Spent nights yelling at eachother. Me to him because I just wanted to love him. Him to me because he didn't want my love. Then we were doing better. And we bought a house together. A cute little farm house. We had made dreams and hopes in the house. And 4 days after moving in, a year ago, I went to plug his phone in to charge before work the next day and up popped "I love you baby and can't wait to bring you here". I was his baby. So I looked. Turned out he had fallen in love with a local. While he was away from the boys and I. Further digging found that it had been 7 locals. This one though, was going to be brought here, leaving her children there because C didn't want to be their daddy. And she didn't want to be their mommy. And the best part, C wanted to turn our shop into an apartment for them to live in together. I became angry. And took him back to counseling. Our counselor. Who had done individual sessions with C, had no idea about the cheating. Couldn't believe it. I tried to keep my marriage together. To make it better. But in January after having 3 months of hell. Being treated like dirt, talked down to, and berated, I finally kicked him out. I went to school for my EMT, and tried to get my life together, while still trying to keep my kids' lives happy. I was top in my class but couldn't get into a job as an EMT. I've been told by multiple companies that it's because I had no work history. 9 years as a stay at home mom, counted for nothing. And so I spent 3 months trying to get any type of job possible. And the day after my divorce finalized, I landed a job as a line cook. I hate it. But it pays the bills. And it's a baby step to where I want to be. So for now I work 8pm-4am. C has the boys while I work and drops them off at 730 in the morning on his way to work. I take them to school, take my youngest to his therapies twice a week, manage to get gym time in, and then pick up kids. The last 3 months, we've had football 4-5 times a week and it was my responsibility to take care of that. I sleep a couple hours a day, babysit before and after school to bring in some extra money, and try to make my kids' life happy. I lost myself 10 years ago and have no idea how to cope without my other half. But one day at time a keep trying.
